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Change

I’m finding it difficult to just let go of the worries and concerns of my ever day life and truly sync into the rhythm of my trip. While I am meeting a lot of great people, loneliness and separation from those I care about are an issue that I am constantly battling. I’m not really sure why I cling so tightly to things over which I have no control, but I know that I need to let go more and let the cards fall where they may. It’s funny how life can throw you off balance like that. It seems that every time I feel that my feet are firmly planted, and I am comfortable and confident on my own, something (see also someone) comes into my path that sends me tumbling, gasping for breath, and trying to find my footing. Given enough time, I become entwined with this entity, as if anchored by their presence. I suppose that is what love is. Letting someone into your life, joining, becoming one. The difficult part is not losing yourself in the process. Not becoming reliant; symbiotic. How do we overcome feelings of jealousy, fear, anxiety, longing, need. How can we become intimate with others, allowing them to see us for who we truly are, at our best and worst, bare, naked, exposed, without also becoming completely vulnerable? Maybe that’s the whole idea: when it’s real, true, love, that none of these things matter because you are just so thankful to have that person in your life at all, whether they continue to be there or not. Or perhaps it is quite the opposite, and these feelings just don’t arise when it is right. Patterns are emerging, and my eyes are being opened ever-wider. Will I find the courage, the answers, the reasons to induce change? I hope so.

– Written at 30,00 feet. Things seem so much simpler here…

 

 

 



So, what do you think ?